The Loving Inner Guide Course
Are you sick of being held back in your healing progress?
Im hearing more and more frustration from people at the moment with their therapeutic process.
"How long do I have to be strong for?"
"How long do I have to keep doing THIS for?"
The frustration and the anger is very real!
So I started asking myself:
"What can we do to help speed this process?"
This new course has been developed specifically to massively accelerate your healing/therapeutic process by removing a little-known block that is holding everyone back.
So you're willing to go to therapy and do courses.
You’ve spent your hard earned money on sessions, books, seminars.
You’ve made the effort and given it an embarrassingly large amount of time.
You’ve humbled yourself. You’ve “been vulnerable”. You’ve revealed your inner most to total strangers.
All in the name of therapeutic progress so you can get back to living your normal life.
Progress is patchy. Its slow.
You move forward. Then you move back. A modality or therapist seems to be working, only for you to later hit a brick wall or feel so dispirited you just want to give up.
There is a part of the healing narrative that is a little embarrassing for clients, therapists and coaches alike. It’s a prickly topic. Its boundary breaking and impossibly, excruciatingly intimate.
It is exactly and precisely here where the essential work is. We can create a catalyst to your process and your progress here.
Whether you are a therapist/coach or client (many are both, that’s ok too!) you need to understand this simple key element to push things forward.
Lets briefly cover the technical definitions so we know WHERE and WHAT the problem (and therefore the solution) lie specifically. Don’t worry Ill keep this part brief.
1. Executive Function: in Psychology and Neurology this is a fairly complex concept, but simplified it largely refers to an individual’s ability to get stuff done.
To break it down “Executive” means ability to carry out a plan, and “Function” means ability. So lets call it “Boss ability”.
People with good “boss ability” can regulate their emotions, remember what they are supposed to be doing, retain skills, have impulse control, can pay attention and are fairly resilient under pressure.
2. Self relationship : how is the individual relating from themselves to themselves? Are they capable of doing so?
Aside from some rather fringe (but solid, “fringe” only in the sense that they aren’t mainstream) concepts found in lesser known schools of therapy the focus on this issue is not very strong in most coaching/counselling/psychotherapeutic modalities.
Now, why did I say its potentially “embarrassing”?
I suspect we just don’t think it very polite in our culture to go so deeply into someone's inner world and to ask questions that could sound judgmental or hostile about the most intimate parts of another persons psyche.
Interesting isn’t it? We are normalised to the idea of sharing the most vulnerable, secret, perhaps shocking “content” of who we are and what we’ve experienced – our past, our stories, our trauma – but not to share the “context” of who we are.
Simple questions like this would be a start:
1. How would you rate your relationship with yourself on a scale of 1 to 10?
Do you retain new information easily or is it very difficult for you?
3. How efficient are you at regulating your emotions or do they frequently overpower you?
4. Can you pay attention for extended periods of time or do you drift off?
5. Do you often begin tasks only to abandon them half way through?
These are just simple (and not particularly penetrating) examples of questions we could ask clients/ourselves before beginning therapy or a course.
Because these questions indicate the level of “boss ability” you have and whether you are a “good friend to yourself”.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE?
Read the questions above. Arent all these things absolutely necessary to completing a course, a seminar, reading a book on psychology/healing or attending counselling/therapy for months?
WHY DON’T WE ASK THEM?
Just writing this out I can easily imagine how awkward I might feel asking people questions in this vein. Does the client feel examined? Judged? Do they think Im assessing them as a client? Morally condemning them as a human? What if they become upset or enraged?
My point: We’ve missed a major section of the process.
To be blunt, Ive missed it. Yes, Ive experienced trauma and had CPTSD but I also have always had a fairly good relationship with myself and half way functional “boss ability”.
This is solipsism on my part because I started with the blind assumption that everyone was starting from this point.
They CLEARLY are not. And that’s ok, but we must address it.
This course is a lightweight, easy to consume and adopt first step towards developing better “executive function” and a stronger, more supportive relationship with the self.
If you DO NOT have these two things in order:
-all therapy work will be triggering and exhausting
- you will backslide frequently to your frustration which will lead you to feel like giving up
- you will be cranky and irritated with yourself, your counsellor, the mode of therapy your working with, the building it takes place in, the day of the week you do it on etc because “ITS NOT WORKING!!”
- actual progress may trigger you to stop the therapeutic work altogether and give up
If you DO have these two things in order:
-you will be able to retain information and organise your life more easily
- there will be less dramatic outbursts of emotion, theatrical cries of “WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH” and less interpersonal turbulence with the people in your life
- less temptation to use old/not helpful/poisonous coping strategies like drink, food, drugs, toxic relationships and so on to avoid the sense that “nothing you do ever works”
- better ability to concentrate and pay attention for longer periods on tasks you need to get done, skills you are learning and the therapeutic process in general
- you will feel optimistic and resilient, there will still be bad days but you will be able to track clearly the progress you are making which will keep you from the “pit of bleak despair”.
We must be able to be a supportive friend to ourselves for our brains to function properly.
This is a psychological and neurological issue. That means that elements of what blocks you are almost certainly physical. There is some debate but it is largely agreed “executive function”/”boss ability” is located in the prefrontal cortex.
If your brain is not functioning well, it will be unlikely you will be able to cope with the stress of real therapeutic work. Why would/should we expect you to cope with a counselling programme if you struggle to go to the shops without issue? It doesn’t make sense.
This course is simple, uses no jargon, is step by step and largely requires only the simplest written exercises (15 mins a day) and to listen to a couple of audio hypnosis before sleep, and one you can listen to while doing your daily chores.
This course will NOT recover a damaged executive function or self relationship completely but it will get you to a point where you can cope with and retain the progress you make in a coaching context.
Any counsellors or therapists who purchase the course are automatically permitted to share as much of it with their clients as they want. To adapt portions of it, to teach it and so on, I only ask that you credit me please.
You can begin putting the techniques into action as I describe them within the course. Please watch with a pen and a pad and put them into action straight away.
Simple language, simple concepts. If people have low levels of attention and are struggling with memory, jargon doesn't help!
Step by Step
The course assumes that the executive function and self relationship is fairly poor so the course gives you straightforward clear instructions.
CLEARS A PATH
I don't want you in counselling or watching youtube videos for the rest of your life. Lets assume you've made enough sacrifices and just get back to living life.